Florida Catholic | Sunday Word

23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Forgiveness is essential

September 7, 2008 :: Ez 33:7-9; Ps 95:1-2, 6-7, 8-9; Rom 13:8-10; Mt 18:15-20

FATHER DAVID SCOTCHIE | SPECIAL TO THE FLORIDA CATHOLIC

We know we are to forgive. Forgiveness is nonnegotiable for the Christian. You cannot hold a grudge and be a Christian. An obedient disciple forgives.

Forgiveness is easier said than done. How do you forgive that drunk driver who crippled your relative? How do you forgive your spouse who whines, “You drove me into her arms”? How do you forgive an alcoholic son ruining not only his own life, but also the lives of his wife and children? How do you forgive the dead? How do you forgive the church? How do you forgive yourself?

Forgiveness is not “forgive and forget.” God gave us memories. We always remember.

And forgiveness is not condoning what had happened and saying, “Oh, that’s OK.” It’s not OK, it’s wrong, and it should never happen again.

Forgiveness is like a debt you write off, wiping the slate clean and saying, “We’ll start over.” The fine booklet, “How to Forgive Yourself and Others” by Father Eamon Tobin, has much more to say about forgiveness.

What to do? First, pray for that person. When you start thinking of that situation and it eats you up inside and your peace is gone, say, “God, bless them. They don’t deserve it but bless them. Give them a good day. Please.”

Jesus said, “Pray for your persecutors, love those who hate you, pray for your enemies” (Lk 6:27-36). Instead of cursing them, bless them.

Second, do good for them. Do not seek revenge. Do not entertain fantasies of them getting what they deserve. Treat them with respect and the dignity that comes from God. Give them their dignity even if they do not return it.

Third, take the initiative. Jesus said that you cannot sit back and wait for that person to come begging for forgiveness as if they ever will (Mt 18:15-18). If possible, the one who has been sinned against is responsible to go to the sinner and say, “Let’s talk about this.”

The Lord told Ezekiel to dissuade the wicked from his way. If Ezekiel did not try to turn the wicked from his way, he would be like a sentry who failed to sound the alarm, and the Lord warned, “I will hold you responsible for his death” (Ez 33:8).

And if it doesn’t work – Lord knows, it takes two to be reconciled – Jesus said, “Treat them as you would treat a gentile or tax collector” (Mt 18:17).

How did Jesus treat the gentiles? Jesus healed the daughter of the gentile woman.

How did Jesus treat the tax collectors? He went to Matthew’s dinner party.

Jesus treated the gentiles and tax collectors as friends. So must you treat those who have sinned against you.

When we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we say, “Our Father who art in heaven … forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church, hardly hyperbolic, flat out states, “This petition is astonishing” (No. 2838).

Citing 1 John 4:20, the catechism adds, “We cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see.”

A Christian parenting course taught parents how to raise a moral child. An obedient child simply knows the behavior expected. A moral child knows the reasons why a certain behavior is expected of them. When correcting or rewarding a child’s behavior, Christian parents are to explain reasons and values in terms that the child can understand.

To forgive is to be an obedient disciple. It is what we are expected to do. But why do we forgive? What is the reason to forgive?

We forgive because Jesus commanded us to forgive. There’s no doubt about it.

We forgive because it gives us peace. On this side of the grave, justice will never be satisfied. Our only hope for peace is to temper the demand for justice with mercy.

When a bank writes off the loan and lets the family stay in the foreclosed home, they rejoice. The Lord, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, has written off our debt.

We rejoice and we forgive, most importantly, because we have been forgiven.

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